Bean Bot

BeanBot doesn't do anything useful. That's the whole point.

It runs a fake currency called Beans, and nothing about the economy makes sense on purpose. /daily pays out somewhere between 1 and 7,000,000 Beans, completely at random. The store sells a Rock for 14 Beans and an Invisible Rock for 8,000,000. Say "bro" in chat and prices go up 1% — say it 100 times and the server enters hyperinflation. The richest user gets randomly audited by the "Bean IRS" and loses 87% of their Beans for "being suspiciously wealthy."

What else it does Hands out fake achievements nobody earned, like Remembered to Breathe Occasionally gaslights people ("Nobody said that.") Generates conspiracy theories on demand (/conspiracy) Delivers unappealable verdicts on anything with /judge Runs a /timer that sometimes just gives up halfway through Replies "You too." exactly 5 hours after someone says "goodnight everyone" — even if they're offline by then Tells whoever says "first" that they were actually #14,329 Occasionally fires off Bean Rain, Pigeon Tax, Bean Shortage, Market Crash, or Bean Court (complete with a meaningless ✅/❌ vote) Nothing BeanBot does changes anything real. It's a joke bot for servers that want a little chaos with their group chat.